I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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