Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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