Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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