are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
