whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
