I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
