Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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