Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
