it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
