i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
