I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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