I think I just saw someone hide a body.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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