literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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