Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
