Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm too high and old for this...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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