Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
