he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
