Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
