there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
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