last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
