She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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