She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
