Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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