Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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