A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it glows. i had to have it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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