You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
