i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
