I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
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I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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