I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
