Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
