I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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