No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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