So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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