ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize