So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize