His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize