I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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