You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
