The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
