Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
