So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
