I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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