so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
