p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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