im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
