Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
