I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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