Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i out mim tonsoeep
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