Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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