I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize