apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
