This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
