Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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