OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
