So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
