How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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